A Kiss and a Good Rogering

As it rains in March so it rains in June. ~Farmer’s Almanac

Rain, sleet, fog, apprehension and motion sickness could not keep Book Club’s most dedicated members from attending the meeting this past Saturday night. One member said she was apprehensive about attending because she imagined everyone in their bondage collars, stilettos and flogging accessories and she was uncertain that she wanted to be part of that scene. Imagination aside, we were a pretty tame crowd. While we were waiting for dinner we discovered that only one of us in attendance had heard of the Citadel in SF and she amazed us by sharing her experience with touring a real life dungeon set up for BDSM play.

These steakhouse nachos are not
quite as ugly as the Pub Nachos

Maguire’s was a fun meeting location; small but cozy and warm and not crowded at all. It was one of the only Irish pubs that I’ve been too that offers fish tacos and this weird concoction they call Pub Nachos. The Pub Nacho platter had me pondering the definition of Nacho, which, according to Dictionary.com is “a snack or appetizer consisting of a small piece of tortilla topped with cheese, hot peppers, etc., and broiled.” If you go by that definition then these pub nachos were not nachos at all; they were a sinful dish consisting of a bed of bbq kettle chips, generously drizzled in buffalo sauce, sprinkled with bleu cheese, salted pork and tomato. When the dish arrived at our table it was this terrible looking sea of red and browns, with some bleu cheese muddied in on top for some extra ugliness. However one taste sent the imagination soaring. How can something as ugly and wrong as this dish taste so damn good?

Gloria and I split the Shepherd’s pie which was delicious and made us realize that, unlike pub nachos which cannot be remotely related to nachos, the tater tot casserole is the red-headed step child of the shepherd’s pie. The main differences in the tater tot casserole are tater tots instead of mashed potatoes and processed cheese instead of gravy.

After dinner we tackled the questions and we were all pondering the significance of Anne Rice’s tale and the classic, original Sleeping Beauty story (pre-Disney) when Gloria produced our quote of the meeting by saying “Sleeping Beauty was awakened with a kiss and a good rogering.” Although a shocking statement, we all seemed to remember that story arc from somewhere and Gloria was the first one of us to say it out loud, however, our 30 second internet searches could not corroborate her quote.

We all agreed that we would have liked the story much more had Beauty consented to become a slave. Alice gladly played historian and reminded us that all was not equal in work, love and play with men and women in the early 80’s when these books were conceptualized. Number one women’s fantasy in the 80’s was to be taken by force. I risked exposure to a virus (my computer is not wearing protection!) to bring you the top 10 female sex fantasies of today, courtesy of Askmen.com, #1 being the most popular women’s fantasy:
1. Private dancer
2. Exhibitionism – others watching
3. Force Fantasies, being taken by force despite objections (there is a safe word)
4. Voyeurism
5. Threesome, two guys and one girl
6. Threesome, two girls and one guy
7. Sex with a stranger
8. Dressing like a school girl and getting spanked
9. Male dom/female sub
10. Female Dom/Male Sub

Our conversation about the book and about debauchery started to wane, it was time to either choose to have another beer or head for home. Assessing the weather and the long drive ahead we opted for home. Alice, our designated driver, battled gusting winds and driving rain and in the car our conversation immediately turned to “dolls” and what doll would be the best to deal with the type of anxiety we were each experiencing as we hurtled down the highway, worried about hydroplaning, our jaws clenched and our knuckles white.

Since I didn’t have a “doll” I wish I had ordered this before embarking on the ride home, Cocktail of the Month:
Irish Car Bomb
3/4 pint Guinness
1/2 shot Bailey's Irish cream
1/2 shot Irish whiskey
Add the Bailey's and whiskey to a shot glass, layering the Bailey's on the bottom. Pour the Guinness into a pint glass or beer mug 3/4 of the way full and let settle. Drop the shot glass into the Guinness and chug. If you don't drink it fast enough it will curdle.

Roger the rain,
Angela